I received some crap news from the specialist yesterday, and on of my best friends had a really bad morning this morning so on the whole “Fuck you Universe – you can’t treat people like that and get away with it!” I’ve spent quite a few hours Christmas shopping.
Unfortunately my time organisation skills like most other brain skills are pretty much crap these days, dear friends so please listen closely:
Some of you will receive packages in the mail from shops you don’t remember ordering from in the next couple of days. Do not open them – these will be Christmas presents.
Some of you will be receiving packages between Christmas and New Years. Never fear, I haven’t forgotten you – it’s just that your fantastic gift actually requires a lead-in time to create or a bigger sacrifice to the International Mail Gods than I was prepared to make. I’m happy to sacrifice babies but I can’t afford International Global Express.
Some of you will receive little electronic emails and such on Christmas Day or just before (for I am also crap with International time zones).
Finally if you are a regular commenter on my blog and/or my friend and none of the above happens to you, then the International Mail Gods hate you, or me. Or I couldn’t figure out what to send you – do you know that half of you do NOT have wishlists. Wishlists people!!!! How can I send the right gifts without a wishlist!!!! Your homework before 1 January 2012 is to create or update your wishlist and remind me of your birthday! Each one of you! I have a spreadsheet now and I want it updated!
Now before I get a flurry of “Oh my God Mel – don’t be so fiscally irresponsible”:
1. The money is spent. I do believe in recycling, regifting, bargain hunting and buying local so there wasn’t that much hard cash spent really.
2. I want to do something nice to all of my friends who have been here supporting me through all my of whining and crappiness this year and I just don’t have the “spoons” to it any other way
3. I’m an adult, I can take the consequences of my actions and I choose to say “Fuck you Universe” in any damn way I want.
I just hope you guys like your pressies 🙂
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Goth Tigger 
Christmas shopping sounds like a acceptable way of giving the Universe the finger to me. And if it gave your pleasure, that’s the most important thing. I am sorry to hear there’s been more crap news though. That part sucks.
Oh my darling Mel, only you can post a blog entry that simultaneously makes me laugh, shake my head and wave my hands in the air at the same time.
All this and I don’t even celebrate Xmas….but I do celebrate other’s celebrations of Xmas. Our God-children (4 & 6) even out up our Xmas tree on the weekend. It looks like a bomb went off and sprayed the tree with decorations…We LOVE it!!!
So what was the crap news?